Mind Your Manners

As a native Washingtonian, I feel a sense of civic obligation to those who may be venturing to D.C. for an internship, or really, for anything, in the future. I’ve got the inside info, which makes me feel all cool and special.

So, for the next few weeks, in addition to giving you the titillating details of my own life, I will deliver insider tips on how to make the most out of the nation’s capital.

Even as a life-long resident, I never really get tired of this city, and it has so much to offer if you know your way around. Looking like a tourist is okay the first few days you’re here is okay, but after a while, you want to start to settle into the groove of things, and hopefully I can help you.

So, without further delay, I present to you: Ten ways not to get bored, cursed out, cheated, hit by a car in Washington, D.C.

First off? The complex lesson of Washingtonian Etiquette:

When you arrive here in the district, you will undoubtedly hear the phrase “stand right, walk left.” Now, before you go tripping over yourself trying to walk with one leg and stand with the other, know that this is the unwritten rule for the dizzying number of escalators you will encounter here in the District.

This is a town full of busy people, who want to get things done, and may, from time to time, be inclined to violently shove anybody out of their way in that effort. So to avoid contention, keep in mind: If you are going to leisurely enjoy your ride up to street level, please stand on the right to allow the quick tempered, caffeine addled Hill staffers to run past you. Follow this rule, and you can almost halve the number of expletive laced rants you will encounter.

Now, contrary to what the above statements would have you believe, D.C. is not New York, or Boston, or L.A. We are actually an exceptionally pleasant city. (In my opinion) People smile at you when you see them, hold doors, help you with directions, etc.

But you will, unfortunately, encounter your rare a-hole. But I’ve got a secret. Lean in close now…They’re not really from D.C.

That guy elbowing you out of the way to catch the next Red line train to Glenmont? Betcha he’s from Kansas. The woman who stepped on your foot and then had the nerve to give you the stank face? Carpetbagger from Connecticut. Even that evil barista at Starbucks who looks like he would rather throw your Chai in your face than hand it you, is probably originally from Alabama. The point is, these people ain’t natives.

The myth is that in order to survive in a city, you have to be aggressive, cold, and ruthless to get ahead. You have to look out for numero uno, step on other people’s heads, walk the walk, talk the talk. None of that is true.

And I think the same goes for a lot of cities. Us city folk are laid back. We don’t like to rush things, and usually aren’t too high strung. It’s those transplants that give us the bad name…damn transplants. So the next time you encounter an exceedingly rude person in D.C., you can comfort yourself knowing that it’s all an act to appear tough.

But it gets even more complicated. Because, although D.C. is nice for a big city, it isn’t some tiny town in Middle America either. The culture here is a little different, and some things you may have taken for rudeness were just cultural variations. Like, for instance, smiles here aren’t quite what they are everywhere else. You’re more likely to find what I call “the lip curl”, which is that kinda awkward half-smile that straddles the line between “nice to meet you” and “you’re in my way.”

The lip curl is usually given with the best of intentions, and should be taken as a polite greeting. Do not, however, mistake it as an invitation for an extended discussion of the weather.

Someone didn’t say thank you after you held the door for them? Pay attention. If they widened their eyes and gave you a lip curl, that means thanks. Strange, I know, but that’s just the way we roll in the D dot C…

Until Next Time…

The Internship

I hate orientations. They make me fidget. I have veeerry limited patience for welcomes and opening seminars and icebreakers...God, icebreakers really are the worst. Haven’t been to one yet that wasn’t awkward… Anyway, I like to think of myself as more of a jump in, learn as you go kinda guy, which has made me a good fit for my internship.

This summer I will be working at mCapitol Management, a lobbying firm in downtown D.C. The first day, we spent a couple of hours getting a tour of the office, getting to know everyone, and learning our responsibilities. And then we were off. I’ll do my best to post all of my successes and failures on this blog. (Let’s hope for more of the former.)

So, how am I doing so far? It’s hard to say. Let me sidetrack a bit. First of all, my fellow interns are some of the coolest people you’ll meet. When not diligently working (obviously), we have a pretty good time in the office that four of us share together, affectionately called “the pod” (although I am campaigning to change it to “the bullpen”). We tell embarrassing stories, argue about who the hottest first lady was, and give each other odd nicknames. (shoutout to “Legs” and “Jingles”) We’ve even got a pretty schweet quote board goin’ on. Oh…and we like to label things…a lot.

Most importantly though, I think we keep each other from freaking out. Our jobs aren’t necessarily difficult, but as an intern, there is always pressure. Pressure to succeed, and to impress, and to not eff up. This is the time when we are supposed to prove that we are at least semi-competent in the field we have chosen, and that we could cut it in “the real world.”

With that on your shoulders, a mild mental breakdown or two is expected, but having four other people going through the same thing makes life much less stressful. And my fellow interns and I have collectively come to understand the appeal of a low stress job like, say, a janitor at an Arby’s. Sigh…that’s my dream.

So, as an attempt to answer the question “how am I doing?” I would say that I’m doing alright. I haven’t had any major screw-ups, I’m getting along well with everyone, and most importantly, I’m learning a ton. Seriously. After a couple of weeks of researching and keeping track of news (part of my responsibilities), I could probably talk at length about Medicare or cap-and-trade without having to resort to Wikipedia. Go me!

So yeah, here’s to continued success. Oh, and, unlike my last post, here is a picture of me with a living, breathing Tucker Carlson. Woohoo!

Until next time!

Well herrooo. I see you’ve stumbled upon my little blog here. Come on in… Don’t track dirt on the carpet…May I interest you in a Hot Pocket?

My name is Devin, and I will be your window into what life is like being an intern through The Washington Center . Besides giving anyone who is interested an honest view of what a summer here is like, I will, without a doubt, use this space for many of my ramblings and rants on any of the issues of the day.

Aaand in case you haven’t noticed, grammar, syntax, spelling and formality are all on a permanent vacation, so if dangling prepositions make you cringe, run far, far away…Oh, and I reeeaallly like ellipses… See? As punctuaton goes, I find them more useful than they actually are.

Where to start, where to start? I could talk your ear off about how freaked out I was when I hadn’t packed the night before I left, or about my long and arduous journey from the opposite end of this country, or even my difficulty adjusting to life in D.C. and away from my family.

Sounds like an exciting start, huh? (Probably not, but just go with it.) Yeah, well it’s a lie. I’m actually from Washington, D.C. (born and raised) I live in the heart of the city, about 10 minutes from the Capitol building. I traveled all of…20 minutes to get to my TWC apartment, and my bags were still packed from my semester abroad in London.

Sooo, that means that this summer will be a piece of cake for me, right? I know Washington like the back of my hand, and I can go through my internship with my eyes closed? HA! No such luck. I’ll explain. To its residents, D.C. has a reputation of having a severe case of dissociative identity disorder. It’s really two cities in one, named accordingly (well, by me) “Washington” and “D.C.”

Washington is the city of congress, and lobbyists, and the National Mall, and lobbyists, and where the phrase “inside the beltway” actually means something…and lobbyists. D.C. , on the other hand, is the home of the Redskins and the Wizards, and Go-Go music (you might have to look that one up), and Ben’s Chili Bowl and *cough* Marion Barry (unfortunately). Having lived all of my 21 years in D.C., mostly isolated from the moving and shaking of Capitol Hill, I think it’s about time I really get to know my city’s other side.

Despite studying politics in school, I am just as lacking in real world experience in this field as everyone else is. I’m going to have to learn as I go, just like everyone else, without any assistance from my zip code. At the same time, I hope I can share in the wonder that other interns may be feeling. Although I see the Capitol building everyday, the thought of taking a trip to the Hill as part of my internship makes my heart race. I also doubt being a resident of the District will give me any advantage over any other interns (I may have an easier time navigating the Metro in rush hour…), and so I am oddly eager to feel a bit wet behind the ears.

All that rambling, and I didn’t even get to my first week at my internship? Well, I guess you’ll just have to stop by again, now won’t you? (You better!!) In the meantime, here’s a picture of me and President Obama!

Until next time!

Hehehe